Step 1 in Getting Well: You MUST Have Faith in God (The Sole Creator)

I know some people are going to have a problem with this, but I don't care.  Here's why, STEP 1, begins with having at the minimum, faith in God.  Because, without it, what would be the point in even trying to get yourself well?  If God, eternity, the soul, weren't anything but mythical legends, then how we live here, would not matter.  We could live f**ked up, all the time, till our hearts desired, poisoning our bodies, minds, etc, with ease, for, it would not matter.  Why would it, if the infinite wasn't real?

Now if you aren't living right, and are treating yourself like a garbage can with poisons, and poisonous behaviors, you probably don't care much for yourself.  So, finding God, is truly, the ONLY salvation.

When I started my actual incline, of climbing out of poisoning myself, I felt, that I already had a knowledge of God.  I knew, God was real.  I prayed every day, for little things, like for my then husband to come back safely from copping drugs (messed up, yet, 100% TRUE).   And, God did protect me, us.  However, maybe it was even worse, being as I did know that God was real.  It may have been worse for it then made my remorse, guilt and shame, all the more painful.

Here's how it all began for me, the turning my life around, getting off heroin, the street.

Just after, maybe even the day after Thanksgiving, 1999, I can remember, crying, and saying out loud, in the room, which I called, home, when I was lucky enough, room, 314 at the royan motel on 15th and valencia in San Francisco, and saying to God,

"Please, forgive me."  And I meant it!

God had, through it all (what was bad), still had given me so much, and I shat it all away!  Shat on myself, others, God, etc. and, as God as my witness, I heard God say (not with a voice, but with a feeling, energy, I don't know how else to describe it),

"Cara, I have already forgiven you.  YOU must forgive yourself."

FORGIVE MYSELF!!!!! - and yes, that is precisely how I felt.  Exclamations and all.  

But, even though the mere idea seemed so absurd, I mean, how could I forgive myself? - I still hated myself!  Something absolutely changed that night.  With the best and only way I can and have ever been able to describe it was; as if a window had been cracked open, just the tiniest bit, letting in, the breeze of wellness, (or maybe it was the Holy Spirit, now that I am thinking about it), which carried me, and would grow inside of me, remaining with me, even today.

My point is; you cannot even begin to attempt this climb, without God behind, or beside you.

That's my truth, and I'm sticking to it,




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